Change can be scary, but facing your fear head-on is the only bus route out of Struggle Town.
You are probably feeling quite scared and dealing with a lot of fear right now, particularly if you're trying to step outside of the norm. A 9 to 5 job can feel safe, but you want more in your life than just safe. You want to thrive, be your own boss. Maybe you even want to have employees. You’ve seen other people having success and you want that for yourself, too.
Whether you want to start a side hustle or go full-time pursuing your passion, you first have to learn how to overcome fear.
Table of Contents
Facing Your Fears
Have you ever noticed how feelings of fear in your body actually start with a negative thought? Fear can come in a lot of different forms.
- You might feel overwhelmed,
- You might wonder, “How do I even get started?”
- You might be like, “What is my biggest fear?”
- What does that all look like?
I have a secret…
You've probably got some type of inner chatter going on inside your head. I have a confession. I, too, have a secret. I actually have conversations with that negative voice in my head. You've probably figured out I'm a little crazy sometimes (in the best way!), but hear me out.
A while back, around the time I began thinking about becoming an author, I started to notice my inner voice or that negative voice that you sometimes hear, getting pretty loud. I'm a really positive, optimistic person 95% of the time. Annoyingly so, my husband sometimes says, but for some reason, I really struggled with being an author.
It was mainly because that voice was constantly saying things like, “Who do you think you are Lise? What do you think you're going to do? No one's gonna read your book, you can't even write.” Or, “How are you even going to make money writing books? Nobody makes money. What do you think you're doing, this is putting us on the line.”
I had all of these things going through my head and I just remember thinking, “Oh, I wish you would just shut up.” Then I actually did something which I had no idea I was going to do…
I just said, “Oh, Neville, will you just be quiet?”
Calling Out All “Neville's”
Now, I am going to apologize upfront to anybody who is called Neville. It is not about the name that I'm using, it's the fact that as soon as I did name that negative inner voice, it went quiet. It was only for a second, but it went quiet and gave me the space to consider what that would look like if I had an actual conversation with Neville and just explained a few things to him?
So I did.
I stood up to that voice and said, “You know what Neville, I've got this. I can totally do this.”
If I had listened to the fear instead of facing it head on, I wouldn’t be where I am today.
Calling out Neville was so successful, in fact, that it helped launch an ebook empire and six-figure business. In gratitude, I gave Neville center stage and wrote a book with him (tongue in cheek here!) about this whole process. In fact, I have it here.
You are not alone if you are struggling with anything like this. The book is a quick read and full of actionable steps. You can also check out this blog post about Neville, too. But basically, the best way to deal with any negative chatter is to address it instead of ignoring it.
You don't have to go so far as to call your Neville or even give it a name, but every time you notice a negative thought or you observe any kind of negativity going through you, just stop and go, “Hey, I totally got this.”
Neville and Survival
This inner negative voice is really coming from a place of concern and care for you. Change is scary! It just wants to keep you safe and uses what’s predictable in your life to judge decisions. It stems from a time when we were out in the wild and there were tigers in the bushes and unpredictable dangers around the next corner.
In those survival situations, you need that voice to warn you, “Hey, watch out! There's something behind you.” We totally don't need that right now, particularly when you're sitting safely in your office doing your work. Well, you don't need that… unless there actually is a tiger in the background (and in that case, I can bet the tiger would be laying on top of your keyboard!).
It's more about being aware of that voice and actually addressing it and saying, “You know what, thanks so much for thinking about me and looking out for me, but I've got this. I can do it.”
If you want more tips and strategies about how to really deal with this, go ahead and check out my book Mind The Chatter. Take a moment to become consciously aware of what's going on up there in your mind.
Your immediate action step is to be aware. Aware of what is happening up there in your mind and not allowing it to take over. Just become aware. Bringing conscious awareness of any problem is the first step in conquering it. You can be the master of your own mind.
The negative voice never goes away completely, although it does lessen. It can provide important ideas and needs to be acknowledged, but it doesn’t run the show. You do.