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Don't you just love that feeling — when you ask for help or advice from those you seek it from and then you receive that one golden nugget that sets you on a new path…
What can be a kicker though, is when you receive advice and help you don't ask for and then that ‘advice' turns out to be complete hog-wash!
I'm talking about the unsolicited advice you receive from a friend, a well-meaning colleague or a family member who think they know exactly what's best for you and your life and how you should be managing it.
And if you can stomach it, there will be times when that unsolicited advice will also provide a nugget or two… but only if you're open to receiving it, which more often than not, you won't be. Because who want's to listen to Aunty Ange blab on about how she thinks you should follow a career in real estate because you're such a pretty girl!
There are definitive times in our lives when we tend to attract this crappy advice, mainly because we're kinda putting that vibe out there or it's a major life change and EVERYONE seems to have an opinion, right?
If you want to avoid being blindsided by the crap but open to receiving (good) advice, whether solicited or not, follow the tips below so you can make sure you're not the reason you're not successful, aka you're not getting in your own way!
Dealing With Unsolicited Advice
Keep the following in mind when you're receiving advice and make sure it passes your own BS filters 🙂
#1: Look at who's giving the advice
Does the person who is giving you this advice have your best interests at heart. Or do they have a hidden agenda?
Once you understand this, then you can filter their advice and see if it really is a good fit for you. Remember, you don't have to act on the advice you receive, if it's not a good fit or is just coming from a place that's not pure, let is pass on by like a ship sailing in the night…
#2: Do you need to respond?
Do you absolutely have to acknowledge the advice that's been provided, or can you simply not respond? This will largely depend on the type of relationship you have with this person.
Sometimes, it's best to just simply ignore the crappy advice received, in other instances, you'll have to at least acknowledge you've received it, thought it over and then shelved it.
It goes without saying, you should definitely be responding to your significant other's advice, whether you agree with it or not. You don't want to learn that lesson the hard way…!
#3: What's their filter/perception like?
Everyone that gives advice always does so through their own filter. So think about that when considering someone's advice. A person who sees things as ‘glass-half full' is going to provide more upbeat advice compared with someone who is the opposite.
Think about the person's own filters and decide if they align with your own. But keep in mind that just because someone's filters aren't the same as yours, doesn't mean their advice isn't sound… but it can also mean that it's crap too, which is why you'll run it through your own filter first, right?!
#4: Don't take on someone else's ‘words'
Sometimes the advice you receive is delivered in the worst way possible and will rub you up the wrong way in all the wrong places… When this happens, the best thing you can do is let their advice just pass straight through you. And if you can't do that, then talk it out with someone who can help you move past it.
Taking on someone else's words and adding them to the negative talk already going on inside your head is only going to fuel that negative chatter.
Take back the power and give those words the ole heave ho!
#5: Be the bigger person
Whatever you do, don't bite back when you feel agitated by the advice you're receiving. Be gracious and you'll come off as someone who can handle whatever is thrown your way. If you can master this tip, then the advice you receive from this point forward will always come through your own filters and serve you well.
If you bite, then you're stooping to their level and it can turn nasty very quickly.
The bottom line is: if you're getting a ton of unsolicited advice, take a step back and ask where this is coming from and whether it's going to work for you. Keep a level head and always pass any advice (including what I'm dishing out here!) through your own filters.
Don't take on advice that doesn't sit or feel right to you. You're the Captain of your own ship, the Queen of your castle, nothing gets through unless you say so.